Funny, self Care

Public Bathroom Etiquette

This post may be off putting to some, but to others it may be something that they have thought about many times as well and just never had the guts to say.

The other day I experienced something in the ladies room at work that was so frustrating, I just had to share it with you.

Now as we all know, everyone poops. We all learn this at an early age. Our parents teach us during potty training, and there is even a book about it with the same title to help drill this topic home to young children.

We are taught not to be ashamed of this fact, yet as adults we still feel embarrassed by it when it comes to using public bathrooms.

I also used to have a hard time with going number two in a public restroom. But since having children, all shame has gone out of the window. If you are a woman who has given birth, you may be in the same boat- everyone and their cousin may have seen all you have to give while pushing a giant watermelon out from between your legs, and you may have even pooped during the process. So what’s the big deal about doing it in a public bathroom, right?

Well there are some people that still have to sit and wait for the bathroom to be completely void of human life before they feel comfortable enough to do their business.

And sometimes, there are people that like to just pretend they are pooping (or waiting to poop), so that they can enjoy a few moments of peace and quiet.

This can be at home while trying to stay away from screaming children, although that usually requires a door with a lock.

Or sometimes at work when your day has just been too hectic or stressful.

The other day I just needed a few minutes to myself. So when I found the bathroom at work quiet and empty, I hunkered down in the last stall on the end for a little me time. It didn’t faze me when I heard someone come in until I saw them chose the stall right next to me.

Guys- I work at a big company, which means the bathroom has about 10 stalls. So she skipped over the first 8- and picked the last free one right next to the only one with someone already in it.

And then she sat there and waited to poop.

So here I am, trying to enjoy some quiet “me” time, and now it’s been interrupted by now feeling super awkward and rushed like I’m now invading her privacy. I tried to hold my ground, but the silence between us continued to grow.

The battle of who would give in first caused the silence to turn into what felt like a staring match that neither one of us wanted to lose. I tried to distract myself by reading the sign on the wall outlining the proper way to wash your hands in a detailed 11 step process. Then I read the brand name of the toilet paper dispenser, the garbage receptacle, and the scented bag dispenser for feminine product disposal.

Then I read the hand washing directions again.

Why did this woman feel the need to take the stall right next to me, and then sit and wait for me to leave to do her business? If she was that shy, why not go to the other end of the bathroom? Why sit there and try to force me out with her waiting game?

Finally, because I really wasn’t waiting to go to the bathroom and realized this woman was either in pain waiting to poop for the last 10 minutes or sitting there playing Candy Crush taking a break herself, I realized my time was up. I had wasted my precious alone time worrying about this woman’s choice of toilets instead of just taking my time.

However, next time your in a public bathroom, the courteous thing to do is to try and chose an open stall that is not directly next to the only other occupied one. Sometimes it may be crowded and you don’t have a choice.

But you never know if there’s a shy person trying to poo, or just a stressed out lady playing Candy Crush looking for 5 minutes of peace and quiet.

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