For anyone who has tried to make a change in your life, I’m sure you are familiar with having a “why”, or a reason you want to make a change.
No matter what goal I have set for myself in the past, my why has always been for other people.
To be a better Mom to my kids.
To be a better wife for my husband.
To keep up with the hectic schedules at work.
To be able to help more people.
Now there is nothing wrong with any of these reasons, but I have found that a lot of my goals would have initial success, and then I would taper off. I would fail to get to the finish line and end up feeling like a failure. In the process I feel lost and lose my motivation for wanting to make changes in the first place. I started to think that maybe I need a stronger “why”, that would remind myself to not give up.
Even with the goals I have set for myself over the last 6 months I have failed.
I want to quit smoking, but still struggle daily.
I want to be more patient and not yell at my kids, but still find it happening.
I want to lose weight and be healthier, but still ate 3 donuts at work last week.
In retrospect, there was nothing wrong with my goals or my reasons for wanting to make change, but I ended up making excuses to myself on why “just one” donut wouldn’t hurt. Having one cigarette on a weekend wouldn’t hurt (but it did- I cannot have just one). Letting my kids get away with bad behavior because I didn’t want to yell backfired and caused more yelling in the long run.
I realized that I need a stronger “why”. One that will stay with me in my moments of weakness. One that I can think of when my coworker brings in a dozen donuts. One that that will remind me when I want to smoke that I shouldn’t.
My why has to be for me. My why needs to remind me that I am worth accomplishing my goals. Not for anyone else, not because it’s expected of me, and not because I don’t want to let others down. My dreams are determined by me, worked on by me, and will never mean more to anyone but me.
I am worth it. I am worth being healthy, and being a better mom. I am worth the work it takes to be a better wife.
And I am the only one that will feel the pride and satisfaction from accomplishing my goals and turning my dreams into reality.
I am my why.