I’ve been a smoker for 19 years. I’ve quit a few times, like during both of my pregnancies, but it never stuck. I always thought that if I could quit for 9 months of carrying a baby, that there was no way I would start smoking again after I brought that beautiful baby home.
But then life happens, and taking care of a new baby is hard. That first free moment of being able to relax, turned into having a beer and watching my husband smoke, made me want to start all over again.
Quitting anything is hard, but for me quitting smoking has been the hardest obstacle I’ve faced.
But tonight I smoked my last cigarette. Tonight I stood on my deck, looking at the cigarette in my hand, and said out loud only to myself, “I am not a smoker. I am better than this. Tomorrow I will breathe better, I will be focused on my goal, and I will no longer be tempted by my past”. I’m sure it sounded silly, but luckily I was only talking to my dogs and they don’t judge.
I know I am better than my bad habits. I know I deserve to treat my body better, and set a better example for my kids and those around me. I deserve to save that money I spend on cigarettes to be able to get a massage once in a while. Or to take my kids out for a day of fun. Or to save it all for a nice family vacation some day.
If anyone else has quit successfully, I welcome your comments and suggestions. I am determined to make this stick.
I will end this year as a non-smoker, and I will not look back.
It’s About Time 