Finding an hour a day to be by myself is proving to be very difficult. I wake up an hour early each day, and because during that time my husband is getting ready for work then, I end up helping him instead. I am still struggling with not feeling obligated to take care of others during any down time I have. Especially with my husband, because after 11 years of marriage he has come to expect me to help him any time I have a free moment. If I so much as sit down while he is doing anything, I feel extremely guilty.
Tonight I had to sneak in my journaling time while hanging out with my daughter before bed. Although I assumed I would be distracted and have to rush through my goals, my 7 year old surprised me by showing interest! She got her own journal, and started making her own #last90days goal list!
I was so proud of her goals:
1. Make my lunch
2. Make Jack’s lunch
3. Help Mommy
She was making her list, thinking about ways she can be a better person, and help me out in the mornings when I am struggling to get myself and two kids ready for the day. Although I appreciated her enthusiasm and want to be a better helper around the house, I also asked her what she could do for her- what makes her happy? What is something she could spend her time on that will bring her joy? Can you guess what her answer was?
It makes her happy to help me. How adorable is that? I’m so lucky to have this girl. She is selfless, kind and thoughtful. However, I am planning to work with her on also focusing on herself! I don’t want her becoming a people pleaser like me when she grows up.
This experience helped me to realize that I need to be a better example for my kids. I need to stick up for myself and take care of myself if I want my children to grow up knowing that they should too.
I was so excited to be sharing this journaling experience with her, and answering her questions about why I was doing it. I hope through the #last90days, I can become a better example for my kids by showing them what self care, a little determination, and a lot of hustle and heart can do.